by Danielle Shroyer
Gospel Reading: Luke 10:38-42
For Sunday, July 21, 2013: Year C—Lectionary 16
Hey kids! It’s that time in the lectionary when we throw the practical women under the bus and shame them!
Most of us are overly familiar with this story. Jesus comes to Mary and Martha’s house, and Martha is “distracted,” likely due to the fact that she’s been hospitality-bombed by a good chunk of people, including VIP Jesus, and she’s trying to get a decent meal on the table.
It reminds me of stories my mother told about growing up as a first generation immigrant family. If any Lebanese person rang the doorbell, you invited them in and fed them and let them stay as many nights as they needed. Mind you, there were plenty of times when this family had no relationship with my mom’s family at all, which is awkward. But that’s what good Middle Eastern hospitality does.
Despite the lack of notice, Martha welcomes them into her home. Thank God she knew them already.
This Contest Is Rigged
Of course we know that as Martha was going about her hospitality business, Mary was expressing her hospitality in a different way—listening to the guests. And then this kerfuffle takes place where Martha triangulates Jesus into her sister issues and Jesus tells Martha that Mary is right where she needs to be, thank you very much. And you can’t argue with that, really. From what we know about Mary, that is exactly where she most fits. But Martha is not Mary, you know. And I’d like to think—I do think—that Jesus meant not that Martha should be Mary, but that Martha should not be distracted even in her Martha-ness. Be present, Martha. That’s what I think Jesus is trying to say. It’s a presence parable.
But the way this story is told and preached and moralized is anything but centered and present. It’s more like a rigged game show. Ladies, which category shall you choose: Martha, or Mary? OH, sorry! Mary is the only correct category! Better luck next time.
Belt It Out
We find Martha hardened in stone for all eternity as the busy, bossy woman who didn’t care enough about Jesus, while Mary gets the glass slipper and is whisked off to the Beautiful Saints Ball. And all the women hearing the story preached in this way either veer one way or the other, proud of themselves for being like Mary, or deriding themselves for being like Martha. It’s as if the story was a processing plant, spitting us out onto fan belts of “Marthas” and “Marys,” where the Marthas head straight for the garbage bin.
Then there are those of us who hear this story and wonder, “What if I’m not a Martha or a Mary?” If you don’t fit (and I don’t), you end up feeling warily ambivalent. What if neither conveyor belt selects us? I guess we end up on the factory floor?
Free Pass for the Menfolk!
If you’re a guy, I have the sense you don’t feel like you have to identify with this story at all. I say this because I have never in my life heard a guy use this story even metaphorically, as in “I was being really ‘Martha’ about the whole situation.” Women, on the contrary, do this regularly, at least in Christian culture. Women have been taught to use these women’s names—their entire identities—as categories of sainthood and sin.
The perceived point of the story—presence—certainly ought to apply to everyone. So why has this become an occasion to deride the actions of women? Don’t men need to work on not being distracted too?
Practicing the Presence of God
Of course, we know it’s ridiculous to buy into this false dichotomy. The world isn’t filled only with “Marthas” and “Marys.” But if we just have to make this story into a morality play, can we at least upgrade it? Can we move away from “all the women who do the real work around here” versus “the spiritual women who have halos glowing over their heads” and instead describe it as “the distracted person” versus “the person who is present in whatever task she is doing?”
Brother Lawrence wrote a whole treatise on finding God in the daily, menial tasks of life and we consider it a spiritual classic. I’m hoping that’s because he was trying to put into words what Jesus was attempting to tell Martha—that the one thing, the most important thing, the thing that won’t be taken from you, is your attentiveness to the presence of God in whatever you do.
The opposite of Martha’s distraction isn’t Mary. It’s being a present, centered Martha. No shame bus needed. Those are words we all need to hear.
The Hardest Question
Speaking of distractions, here’s the thing I most want to know: Of all the conversations that happened that night, why did this one get written down? Are we to believe that this was the most insightful exchange that happened all night?
I’m hoping it’s not because everybody loves a good cat fight. I’ve about had enough with the cult of female competition. Haven’t you?
Danielle Shroyer is the Pastor of Journey Church in Dallas, TX. She is the author of The Boundary-Breaking God: An Unfolding Story of Hope and Promise (Jossey-Bass, 2009) and blogs at www.danielleshroyer.com. Danielle lives with her husband, two children, and two wild and crazy dogs in Dallas.
