by Carol Howard Merritt
Old Testament Reading: Hosea 11:1-11
For Sunday, August 4, 2013: Year —Lectionary 18
I sat with the betrothed couple as we looked over the marriage ceremony. They were like most couples in the US. They would embark upon their new chapter in life with a bevy of traditions that had been passed down for generations.
Reimagining Traditions
The bride to be had a lovely diamond ring, declaring to anyone who might be romantically interested in her that she was “taken,” while his ring finger remained suspiciously naked.
She would be “given away” by her father to her husband. Even though she had been living on her own and supporting herself for years, her dad would walk her down the aisle, kiss her on the cheek, and hand her off for the next man in her life to take possession. She would exchange her father’s name for her husband’s name.
Throughout the ceremony and festivities, all sorts of traditions continue, as two small candles join into a larger flame, and the tiny ones are snuffed out. Or the minister pronounces the couple “man and wife.” Throughout our traditional ceremonies, women can be treated as property, bought by a ring, ownership transferred by the patriarch, and losing her identity.
In the reception, things would get weirder as the groom would remove her faux garter and throw it into the crowd of eager bachelors.
We looked at the wedding ceremony and talked through the liturgy and rituals, reimagined them. I do this with every couple, but it can be exhausting. To change the customs can put us at odds with the mother of the bride or cause hurt feeling with the father of the bride.
More Drama?
During an event that’s already stressful, we don’t want to add more drama. But it’s important to keep working against these proprietary notions of women. We need to do it in our modern weddings and as we preach texts like this one in Hosea
The backstory of Hosea is that he is a prophet who wants to illustrate God’s love. He marries Gomer, a sex worker. She is unfaithful, so he buys her back. The prophet Hosea is concerned with loyalty, particularly in this passage.
The Hardest Question
The hardest questions for me are: How do we lift up the reality that our scriptures are filled with proprietary notions regarding women? Is it ever good to preach texts in which humans are bought and sold? How do we speak of “redemption” with our history of slavery and human trafficking? How can we preach Hosea and struggle faithfully with the larger framework of the book?
Carol Howard Merritt grew up along the beaches of Florida. After being raised as a conservative Baptist and attending a fundamentalist Bible college, she went to Austin Presbyterian Theological Seminary and decided to become a minister. Carol has been a pastor for 13 years, serving growing Presbyterian Churches in the swamps of Cajun Louisiana, a bayside village in Rhode Island, and in an urban neighborhood in D.C. She is the award-winning author of Tribal Church (Alban 2007) and Reframing Hope (Alban 2010). She has contributed to numerous books, websites, magazines, and journals. Her blog, TribalChurch.org, is hosted by the Christian Century. She blogs regularly at Huffington Post and Dukes Divinity's Faith and Leadership site. Carol is a sought-after speaker. She hosts Unco (short for Unconference), open-space gatherings where participants dream about and plan for the future of the church. And she co-hosts God Complex Radio, a podcast with Derrick Weston. Carol lives in Chattanooga, TN with her daughter and husband, Brian Merritt, who is starting a new church. You can follow her on Twitter (@CarolHoward) or Facebook.
